Monday, June 23, 2008

EVO EMO



EMO (e-motivation)
Has evolution eliminated your optimism?
Can materialism kill mother-love?
Does Darwin cheer when the black rabbit dies?
Evo favors the power of “no.”
Emo, Emo! Emo!!! (cf. “Marsha” 3X).
Do you enjoy the wonders of creation or the silence of the coffin?

MEO (black cats)
Is the shade under the Darwinian “tree of life,” in reality, a space of darkness?
Morbid imperfection is simply the Evolution Project’s last gasp.
Does Cosmic Evolution make you feel small?
Did your LOVE EVOLVE into EVIL?
Does a moth dress goth? Do dark clothes make one a Darkwinist?

OME (meditation)
Are Evo thoughtwaves brainwashing you right now?
Does depression hit you like $10 gas when Obama says “I believe in evolution” when he was asked about Intelligent Design?
When I heard of the Universal Common Ancestor, I just wanted to cry and consult a brick for advice. Naturalism is not nice.

OEM (optimally extensive melancholy)
I got so depressed when my Darwiniac English prof gave the assignment of turning a three letter word, e.g. CAT, into 10K lines of verse through Natural Selection and Random Mutation.
Since I bargained with Darwin’s uncle, I now watch extinction documentaries (the end of the Dodos is so emo).
Was every day a rainy day on the primordial earth?
Are you wired for woe? Is your goal doom and gloom in a high-risk world of chance and non-purpose?

MOE (mo pain, mo doubt)
I just can’t go on!! Darwin is everywhere…
Are you hyper-sensitive about the dark side of Evolution?
Do the gods of Selection and Mutation make you suicidal?
Can the primordial soup truly create manic and frenzied poets?
Will the real cut-up artist please stand up into the blades of glory?
If you do win Ben Stein’s money, will you just use the cash to put more holes in your body?
Can molecules-to-man teaching lead to self-mutilation?

EOM (eternity of Messiah)
Just 7 Seconds of icr.org will cure most evo emo victims.
I shutter to think that you would allow your gray matter and soul side with the Darwin Myth.
Adopt the Rights of Creation (for the Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter) and shout a state of alert against the errors of evolution.
Grasp the flipside of Darwin and rapidly scream the truth of Creation in Six Days (CISD).
Project Evo is a land of weak arguments and bad fashion.
Let your Origins Emotions flow free and join the Intelligent Design musical genre.
Drop your elephant’s dream and escape from the circus life of sadness.
Save the world and stop the madness of anti-special creation!
The next time someone comes up to you and says, “You are so evo emo!” just respond with, “No, I’m a joyful Orthodox Protestant who takes Genesis as Historical Narrative (OPGHN, ‘opgane’).”
If you are not a Christian, you must place your faith in Christ and turn from sin:

You have become a sort of sounding–board from which the Word of the Lord has rung out, not only in Macedonia and Achaia but everywhere where the story of your faith in God has become known. We find we don’t have to tell people about it. They tell us the story of our coming to you: how you turned from idols to serve the true living God, and how your whole lives now look forward to the coming of his Son from Heaven––the Son Jesus, whom God raised from the dead, and who delivered us from the judgment which hung over our heads (1Thes. 1:8-10, Philips).

God made you on purpose, including your gender. Marriage = Adam + Eve (do the math, it’s so cremo). Your life was no accident (contra Darwin):

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them—any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! (Ps. 139:13-18, TheMessage).

May all your tomorrows be happy ones!

No comments: